For your unanswered prayers
That once you had wept for them.
Don’t hang on.
|—||The Messenger of Allah (ص) al-Khisal p. 68|
because I was begging God
that he would not leave.
Warsan Shire -
What Your Mother Told You After Your Father Left
I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Iranian montoe outfits but they are modest and look like coats but go till your knee. I would recommend those or you can wear a long skirt. For some reason in the west if you dont wear jeans and are a hijabi they think you are pretty formal. Don’t worry about it too much since Allah will make this part easy because you’re doing it for Him. You can always wear a typical formal coat with a longer shirt underneath and maybe even through in a skirt. Slacks with almost anything makes it formal :)
You have to remain patient and try to keep respect of your parents and be super kind to them. They are worried out of concern and because they care for you … I know it’s annoying, but it’s out of love so you just have to show love back to them. It’s sometimes easier to have just have open talks about you’re trying your best and want to get married and will try your best to keep them happy whenever the next person comes around and is fit. I think sometimes girls tend to hide their feelings about this from their parents and so the parents just think the girl doesn’t care. Honest and open discussions really help.
Marriage isnt in your hands and the time isn’t either. You have to continue your path and let Allah send that person to you. You should leave the avenues though open for potentials and not say no to brothers for non islamic reasons. I would highly recommend doing the prayer of jafar tayyar (it’s on duas.org) and especially once you’re done if you can go down in sajdah and sincerely ask Allah to solve this issue for you with a tear, it’s said to do miracles. Ask Allah for a good spouse because you want to get closer to Him and because you want to make your parents happy. He’s listening, He won’t say no. Just maybe He will answer it at a different timing or different method in whatever way He thinks it’s best. You could have been married 10 years ago but with a really unsuccessful marriage that would strip you from your eman but Allah protected you. Try to remain positive even though I understand it’s not easy.
Maybe the patience of remaining single is what’s keeping you super close to Allah and it will be so much more rewarding on the day of judgement. We don’t know what the future withholds and you have to practice tawakul that Allah will take care of you. He hasn’t forgotten you. He loves you and cares for you and totally understands your situation. You make dua and make Him your lawyer in this affair that he will take care of you.
Keep your head up sister and zoom out of the situation. Sometimes we focus too much on that one thing we don’t have in life and forget about the million other things God has given us.
Wa Alaikumo Salaam Wr,
Do you mean you don’t pray your 5 daily prayers or doing a prayer before studying? (please respond to that part since that’s of outmost importance)
You need to set small daily goals and focus on them. Close off all distractions and give yourself a time limit to cover how ever many pages and you can’t do anything else. Laziness will affect everything. It will affect your spiritual progress which is so much more important that any other struggle we go through this world. You’re the only person who can convince yourself that your studies are important and you should put in the most time you can into them to please God. The prophet always did everything he did in excellence so every muslim should be like that.
So to reiterate: set a goal for the day of what material you need to cover. Then set specific timings for how many pages to read in what time frame. Then start. Give yourself some pre planned breaks. You need to repeat material over and over again to get it in your head so keep repeating until it’s in there. Nothing comes easy.